Well most of you don’t know this about me and I have been really private about it because its a sensitive subject for me to talk about. But first the good news, I”M PREGNANT!!!!! It really is a miracle we got pregnant with our first time doing IUI (artificial insemination). In fact we had to cancel the process toward the end because things had gone wrong so we definitely weren’t expecting to get pregnant from it.

So here is the story, since I was young I have known that I have problems in the woman department, I have never been regular (which I had always loved) never had PMS, never had cramps and only actually had my period about 4 times a year. Since I was 16 I had been checked regularly and all the doctors said I looked good up there so I thought I was just enjoying the good life. Once I got married and we started trying to get pregnant, I realized there was more to the story than I had been told. After about 8 months of not getting pregnant, I started doing tests with the OBGYN. Things like my thyroid and a bunch of other things. It came to their attention that I may have a condition called PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) basically it means you have tons of cysts hanging out in your ovaries and uterus. They put me on clomid (a pill that enduces ovulation) and sent me on my way. Well the problem with that was, everytime I took a ovulation test (and I tried 3 different kinds) it would come out positive. I thought I was always ovulating which made it even more frustrating that I wasn’t getting pregnant. Little did I know, one of the symptoms of PCOS is that your test always come out positive, therefore you have no idea when or if you are actually ovulating (don’t know why they never mentioned that). I can’t even tell you the tears I wept over this stuff, I knew in my heart it was going to be hard but I didn’t know how hopeless and ashamed I felt. I knew it was not my fault but it didn’t make me feel any less guilty inside about being the reason we couldn’t have kids. I didn’t want to tell anyone because I didn’t want pity and I knew none of my close friends or family could relate to the situation so I just didn’t talk about it.

Finally I talked to my friend Jenica Parcell from A Slice of Style blog who had been going through the infertility journey for years (she is prego with twins now!) and she set me up with Dr. Faulk at Utah Fertility Clinic. After a month and a half I got in to see him. He immediately did a bunch more test and saw that I had over 40 cysts in my ovaries. He finally explained it in a way I could understand and gave me hope. Cysts are basically eggs that don’t get fertilized. Which basically meant I hadn’t ovulated for at least 40 months, which makes it impossible to get pregnant, so after we found that out, we began the IUI process. After a dye test we realized my right ovary was closed (more bad news) therefore cutting my chances in half. Through the process the only egg ready for fertilization was in my right ovary so we canceled the remainder of the procedure and just waited to start it all over. More tears and lots of money.

If you are trying to get pregnant you know how depressing it is to take a pregnancy test and it come out negative. I would cry every time and it would kind of ruin my day so my husband was hesitant when I told him I felt like I needed to take a test before we started again. He gave me all the reasons I shouldn’t, of course expecting it to be negative, after all there was no way we could get pregnant with an egg in a closed tube. But my mothers intuition told me to do it anyway and I did. I saw the plus sign and bawled my eyes out. I took another to be sure, and then I called the doctor for a blood test to be sure sure. It was positive! I really was pregnant! The nurse told me I had a 2% chance of getting pregnant from that and I was having a miracle baby. I am still nervous everyday that something will go wrong because some things don’t work out perfectly for everyone, and maybe thats what pregnant moms do best, but I am so overwhelmed and blessed by this special miracle God has given our family. Finally after a year and a half we have a little baby coming to us.

I know that many couples have it much much worse than us and my heart breaks for them but throughout this process I have seen myself become strong and patient to the ways of the Lord. I have been through many trials in my 29 years and I really was hoping I would be done (ya right) but I understand that life doesn’t work that way and some things are worth fighting for.

I will be updating the blog with deets on my pregnancy and of course how I am decorating the babies room once I figure out if its a boy or girl. I seriously can’t contain myself, I am sooo happy!

MUSIC INSPIRATION: Flume ~ Alice Kristiansen

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