Why do I feel fat and ugly? Oops, did I really just say that out loud. Yep, I sure did, cause that is literally how I feel everyday. Its hard to look in the mirror and see your body turn into a weird shape and even harder to get on the scale and see a number you have never seen before. Yes I know mothers are beautiful and special because of the tiny miracle growing inside them given as a gift from God, but if I must be honest (which you can see by the title of my blog post that I already am), most women don’t look like the 2, 25 year old fashion bloggers out there that are tall, skinny and tan, and only grow a tiny bump in front. We actually look swolen, and pale and well, not quite ourselves to put it nicely. Did I know any of this, of course not, I didn’t really pay specific attention to pregnant women or notice who looked good and who looked bad, they were just pregnant to me but now that its my turn, its really hard. I cry, alot.

I have heard all of these women say how much they loved being pregnant and for a while I just thought I was crazy or maybe they were. And maybe they never talk about the hard things that come with being pregnant because there are so many good things that come with it too. There truly is nothing like taking the pregnancy test and FINALLY being pregnant after so many prayers and trying for so long and even better is when you get to go to the doctor and see your little one kicking around in there. With things like that so few and far between at the begininning, sometimes it is hard to stay positive. I don’t want this to be a really negative post about the hard things but this is one hard thing that is REALLY hard for me personally, so I have written some solutions that are working for me and hopefully just as soon as I feel my baby really in there, I think it all won’t matter so much anymore.

First, I know a HUGE part of it is my hormones and another good sized part is that I don’t like feeling fat and ugly cause no one does right? But having crazy hormones is a real thing, being over emotional about strange things or even normal things and just reacting differently than I usually would is a hard thing to grasp but the best part is…its temporary! Hallelujah. It will all be over at some point and that gives me hope.

SHE MUST WORK OUT:

I have been trying to go to the gym alot more (three times a week maybe :)). It takes my mind off of being a frumpy lady and makes me feel like at least I am trying to help my body from getting out of control. Since everyones body is so different, the excerizes will vary but for me, I work on my legs and sides to make me feel a little better.

FOOOOD:

All I want to do is drink tons of water and eat all day long, (aside from sleeping of course). At first this was hard to get used to but now I have focused on eating healthy snacks like fruit leathers from Costco, low calorie crackers and instead of drinking soda or juice, I use the crystal light packets. I have been eating a ton of fruit and vegetables that also help me feel better mentally and physically. Meat has been one of those things I can’t really do during this pregnancy so I have replaced it for beans or other forms of protien that doesn’t make me gag. But I also have been eating my fair share of unhealthy foods as well, which I hear is typical and I think thats ok too. Just watching my portions and being more aware of what is a regular craving and what is something I just must have as my pregnant self.

HUSBANDS:

They are honestly the best thing ever, I couldn’t live without my husby and I see that more and more through this blessing and trial of mine. He has been there to tell me I am beautiful everytime I cry when I put on an outfit and it totally doesn’t fit and reassure me that I can do this, and that is isn’t easy but it is amazing and he is so happy I get to be the mother of his child…he is just the best. Don’t be afraid to lean on your partner when you are struggling, hopefully they will be patient and sensitive to your situation even if they don’t understand it.

BELIEVE:

I have to tell myself what I am doing is what I have always wanted to do, have a baby and have my own family. Body image for women is such a hard thing to work with, it’s a constant echo in your mind as you eat, get ready and look at other women around you on social media, tv and other social events.

I know that people may be confused as to why I am writing this about myself but I think it isn’t so much about my comparison to other women, its about knowing MY body, and seeing the changes for the good or for the bad that make someones body image fluctuate. I know I am not the only one who feels this way but I do know that every woman has mixed emotions about their changing bodies and that is ok.

I really hope that some of these little tips can help get you through until you are happily holding your little one and getting your body to a place that makes you comfortable mentally and physically.

Ciao,

Kirsten Kizerian

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The first trimester was a breeze compared to most women I have heard. I was nauseous all the time but never had to throw up, just needed to eat constantly to not feel sick. My exaustion was insane! I didn’t know I could be a human sloth and stay awake to see it. haha ok that was dumb but these were things no one ever told me about. I didn’t know I would gag at every smell and thought that was remotely stinky or graphic and the crying…oh the crying. I would sob like my dog died for any old reason, or for no reason at all. I thought I was going crazy and it would literally take me out for the whole day if it started. My husband actually recorded a video of my crying on his phone because he thought it was so funny (ya hideous). I had a few migraines which were terrible but even with all of these things, it really wasn’t that bad cause I AM PREGNANT!

Some of the fun things that have been happening are my weird urges to deep clean. I hear this is called the nesting stage and it usually comes near the end but not for me. All of a sudden, week six and I am organizing closets and drawers and starting cleaning projects all over the house. Who doesn’t love when they want to clean, hallelujiah!

I also have been craving funny and healthy foods like smoothies and fruit. I am not a very big sweet person so I don’t eat a ton of fruit, mostly veggies and cheese and savory foods are more my jam but it has been calling my name…with a side of a bean burrito or hot dog (I know, so gross but sooooo good). Milk has also been a big one on my cravings list. I actually haven’t drank milk since High School but I have been drinking about a gallon a week, moo.

Obviously I knew NOTHING about being pregnant, really nothing.

Pregnant women never complained to me about symptoms other than nausea so I had no idea there were other things happening when you grow a tiny human in your body. I think the hardest thing aside from my body changing and well…looking not as sexy as before, is that I am so worried about my little baby. I think about all of the things that can go wrong and half the time I can’t sleep because I am afraid that its heart may not be beating or whatever else that can go wrong will. My husband isn’t worried at all so that is a comfort, can you imagine both of us freaking out about it. I know everything is fine and I am just practicing being a paranoid mom I am so grateful for this opportunity and I cannot wait to find out the sex. You better believe I’m gonna be buying tons of cute stuff! I am doing the gender reveal in the next two weeks so feel free to write your guesses below. Tyler and I think its going to be a boy!!!!

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